I Should Have Skipped The Cheese

And so I got the Prince out the door with a smallish size "discussion" on the dangers lurking in cyberspace waiting for me. And I got the middle two dwarfs out the door, the older ones got themselves out earlier, and I set off to our local over-priced with a really good sale grocery store. I should note that I can't actually afford to buy groceries anymore due to our bathroom floor that turned into a remodel project. I went anyway. I think the Gods were against me though because as soon as I set foot in the store with Grumpy, Tiny and The Lone Ranger, Grumpy began to have issues. Like she didn't want to be IN the cart with her brother, who was happily honking the horn in the whale cart. She wanted to walk. I had a whale cart, about the size of a whale and just as easy to turn, and a regular cart because I had 3 small dwarfs with me and needed a place for the groceries. I needed her in the cart. I told her to get in with her brother, and she did, with the promise of a treat IF she behaved. And she behaved. For all of 5 minutes. If that. We were in the front where they had the really good sale, I had to count to make sure I had enough items to get the extra amount off my total, when she started to complain. When we got to the baby aisle to get food for Tiny she was crying about how she just wants to walk. There was a lovely lady on the baby aisle, she had her nice quiet troll with her, they were pretty much taking up the whole aisle. As we maneuvered through the aisle and out toward the meat, to see if they had any good chicken sales, and they didn't, she wailed louder that she just wants to walk. We got to the cereal aisle, also on sale for cheap, and she got out. This was the beginning of the end. She wasn't getting back in because she didn't like the cart, and she also wanted some fruit snacks and the cereal that wasn't on our list. So she sat ON the cart. In the front, so that if I were to stop fast she would fly off, or if she were to jump off I would run her over. My dwarfs pretty regularly jump off of, out of, or in front of carts at the store and then wail the rest of the way through that they are either dying or that I hate them and ran them down on purpose. I stopped the cart and told her we would wait until she was in the cart to continue. When she got back in I thought "wow, that was easier than normal" and that is because she decided if I wouldn't let her walk voluntarily then she would force me into letting her by being mean to her brother. We were ready to leave when I remembered the cheese. I couldn't leave without some cheap cheese. So I again get rolling down the aisles with my whale and my really full cart, and get some cheese, aisle blocker lady and troll were there also, they weren't getting cheese, they were also on the cereal aisle, I think she was following us. At this point Grumpy was mad because I told her to leave The Lone Ranger alone and I told her she was not getting a treat, and so she began to scream at me that she wanted a treat and she would behave and why aren't you listening to me. She screamed the same thing over and over for what seemed like forever. It took about 15 minutes to check out, and the blocker/troll people were behind us. I told Grumpy no every so often when she would come up for air mid-scream and then blocker woman says, "don't give in, then she'll be like this at 12". I said I know, but I wanted to kill her and her little troll. When we were finally done I took Grumpy, screaming, and The Lone Ranger and Tiny out to the car, along the way a bag broke and a couple cans fell out and I had to get them while holding onto the whale, the cart, and Grumpy. It was FUN!! I got everyone in the car, all the groceries, and then looked over my receipt. I should have done that before leaving the store because 6 of the cheeses had not rung up at the sale price. Now the dilemma, do I take them all out of their seats, screaming still, and get my money back? Do I run in and leave them in the car? Can't do that. Or should I suck it up as a loss and go home? I decide, somewhat foolishly, to take them all back into the store and get my money back. It was almost 18 dollars and I am glad I took it back in. I told the lady there that all the varieties were marked the sale price and she said she would go check but I stopped her and let her know I just would have the money back and leave with the screaming fiend.
Grumpy screamed all the way home because she didn't get a treat during the second trip into the store either and then she wanted the radio turned down, it was up so I wouldn't be able to hear her quite so well. When the cell rang I was tempted to not bother answering because I wasn't ready to turn the radio down but I did and guess what? It was the lady calling to schedule my tubal ligation. If I had any doubts they were gone right out the window at that point. I scheduled with her, put Grumpy screaming into her room, made a bottle for Tiny and The Lone Ranger and I sat down to watch Nick Jr. with a package of oreo's and a diet pepsi. The moral of this rambling is that even if the cheese is free you should get out before the screaming begins.
THE END